It wasn't just his specist lyrics. Or the direction his tentacles pointed. Or even the tattoo (unprintable in this newspaper) on his shell. It was, as the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) put it, "a combustible combination of the three" that led them to call Park Police to remove rapper SnailMale from the stage at this past weekend's Stereotype Sunday. Speaking at a press conference this morning, Cornelius Kakapo, Director of Public … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2016—Prestigious prize goes to UWT professor for pioneering work on harrumphocytes
Dr. Jagger Zebu, Professor of Mammalian Medicine at the University of West Terrier's School of Medicine has been awarded the prestigious Eureka Prize, it was announced today. The announcement came in a statement issued this morning by the editorial board of the scientific journal Eureka. The board, which awards the prize annually for "pioneering research and innovative experimentation," called Dr. Zebu a "a meticulous scientist and a pioneer … [Read all...]
OTD in 2012—Second prong of Archons’ new tourism strategy: signage
The 2012 Archons have revealed the second prong of their "three-pronged" plan to promote tourism in The Park. At a press conference held this morning, Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt proudly announced that a "major construction project" will take place in The Park this Winter, with the building and erection of a number of signposts. The signposts, Newt said, will direct tourists to Park "hot spots" and make their time spent here … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—ZEAL backs out of performance at Celebration of the Winter Solstice
Attendees at this year's Celebration of the Winter Solstice will not have the opportunity to enjoy ZEAL's music live. In a communiqué issued this morning, The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations announced that the popular Park singer has backed out of his commitment to perform at December's festivities. "We regret to announce that ZEAL will not be performing at this year's Celebration of the Winter Solstice," the communiqué … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2015—DWBS warns against stripe removal
The Department of Well-Being and Safety is warning Park Animals against the practice of stripe removal. In a communiqué released today, the department advised Animals to be "cautious and thoughtful" … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2013—Police close in on abductors of Marmot wrestling team
Park Police say they are closing in on the abductors of the Marmot wrestling team, which went missing during the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games. No member of the team has been seen since September … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Hieronymous Hedgehog to tweet during hibernation via Keeper of the Tweets
Move over, Keeper of the Nut. Hieronymous Hedgehog has a Keeper of the Tweets. The Hedgehog, who was sworn in November 2 as The Park's first Official Hibernation Ambassador, left little to chance, it … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
