The 2012 Archons have revealed the second prong of their "three-pronged" plan to promote tourism in The Park. At a press conference held this morning, Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt proudly announced that a "major construction project" will take place in The Park this Winter, with the building and erection of a number of signposts. The signposts, Newt said, will direct tourists to Park "hot spots" and make their time spent here … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—ZEAL backs out of performance at Celebration of the Winter Solstice
Attendees at this year's Celebration of the Winter Solstice will not have the opportunity to enjoy ZEAL's music live. In a communiqué issued this morning, The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations announced that the popular Park singer has backed out of his commitment to perform at December's festivities. "We regret to announce that ZEAL will not be performing at this year's Celebration of the Winter Solstice," the communiqué … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—DWBS warns against stripe removal
The Department of Well-Being and Safety is warning Park Animals against the practice of stripe removal. In a communiqué released today, the department advised Animals to be "cautious and thoughtful" before they make the decision to remove stripes and spots from their coats. "While the practice of stripe removal may have its origins in a perceived necessity or to a lesser extent, fashion, the Department of Well-Being and Safety is concerned that … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Police close in on abductors of Marmot wrestling team
Park Police say they are closing in on the abductors of the Marmot wrestling team, which went missing during the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games. No member of the team has been seen since September 26. Police were called to investigate when the team failed to show up on September 27 for the wrestling competition, which they were favoured to win. At that time, Police reported they had found evidence of a struggle and possible abduction. They later … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2015—Hieronymous Hedgehog to tweet during hibernation via Keeper of the Tweets
Move over, Keeper of the Nut. Hieronymous Hedgehog has a Keeper of the Tweets. The Hedgehog, who was sworn in November 2 as The Park's first Official Hibernation Ambassador, left little to chance, it … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Archons unveil plans for celebration of 35th anniversary of zoocracy
This January, The Park will begin a year-long celebration of our thirty-five years of Animal self-rule, the Archons announced today. At a press conference this morning, Chief Archon Abayomi … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2011—Police call for calm after specist handbook discovered in Park
The Archons of The Park, in conjunction with the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) have issued a call for calm throughout The Park after the discovery of what appears to be a specist … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
