DEAR NOREEN: A friend of mine has recently befriended a Human and they are now thinking about a permanent arrangement. Do you think it is wise for an Animal to adopt a Human? – PONDERING
DEAR PONDERING: Such adoptions are much in vogue, so I think it’s time we had an open discussion of these arrangements.
First, though, let me say this: anyone who reads this newspaper regularly knows my opinion of Humans: they’re lovely to look at, but I wouldn’t want to live with one.
Aside from that, I am very much in favour of so-called blended families, by which I mean a mix of species and breeds living and breathing (but not breeding) under one roof or in one burrow. It’s definitely the wave of the future, regardless, since so many these days are born but not wanted, not to mention the many more who are wanted, but not born. So, all things being equal (or as lopsided as a Rabbit’s ears), these two needs should match up rather nicely to form a few harmonious families.
You do have to be careful, though, when adopting Humans, since living with them is unnatural, as are many of their habits. They are also painfully slow to develop (indeed, many of them never truly mature). Yet – and, don’t forget this – their lifespan far exceeds that of many of us, a fact that creates its own set of problems.
Remember, too, that Humans can be difficult to train, prone as they are to that eponymous condition known affectionately by them as “Human error.” Still, I would advise your friend to give it a try. No happiness was ever won by avoiding risk.
Dear Noreen is a regular feature of The Mammalian Daily and The Mammalian Daily online. If you have a question for Noreen, please send it via Twitter at @talkswithnoreen.
