Month Without Metaphor’s Mid-Term Report: no gold stars this year

The mid-month statistics are in for Park media’s third annual Month Without Metaphor (MWM) and organizers say they won’t be giving out any gold stars this year unless things change significantly in the coming weeks.

“I’m surprised by these statistics. I thought we’d gotten our message across, but there’s a significant degree of slippage that’s occurred and I find it distressing,” organizer Alvin Tinamou said minutes after the report was released.

While the numbers are still slightly better than they were in MWM’s first year, they are “startlingly high,” Tinamou says.

“At this time last year, we were pleased with the results, but I take no pleasure in informing you that, on the whole, Park media has been embellishing its coverage of news more than we feel is warranted,” he said.

He did, however, praise a few publications for bringing in lower numbers. Those publications were The Avian Messenger (Tinamou’s own newspaper), The Halibut Herald, The Burro Beacon and Reptile Radio.

“And as usual,” Tinamou said, “The Marsupial Messenger has kept their metaphors to a bare minimum.”

Here are Month Without Metaphor’s mid-month results in full:

[table]
Publication,          Number of Infractions,
Toro Talk Radio,                                278
CLucK Radio,                                225
Chitter Radio,                                183
The Dingo Boomerang,                                 107
Marine Mammal Radio,                                 112
The Mollusk Messenger,                                 82
The Salamander Evening Post,                                94
Reptile Radio,                                66
The Silvestris Star,                                87
headsNtales,                                102
The Burro Beacon,                                 56
The Noodlefish News,                                 88
The Canary Courier,                                 78
bRaydio 4,                                89
The Halibut Herald,                                 65
Maple Tree Television,                                76
The Eagle Star,                                 70
The Equine Echo,                                 69
The Rodent Commoner,                                68
The Robin Reporter,                                 72
The Galliforme Gazette,                                 76
The Kaluga Register,                                 65
The Cosmopolitan Pest,                                 65
The Bluebird Free Press,                                 59
Vertebrate Vision,                                58
The Insect Intelligencer,                                66
The Panther Post,                                 86
The Polar Bear Post,                                 66
The Avian Messenger,                                 48
PRANCE Magazine,                                 57
The Blackbird Informer,                                 79
The Ornis Interpreter,                                 47
The Mammalian Daily,                                 55
LAULAA Magazine,                                39
The Raccoon Reporter,                                 40
The Simian Spectator,                                 50
The Marsupial Messenger,                                 29

[/table]