Zebras attempt to block stage entry to SCENTient Beings
The dream of a peaceful Beats of Burden music festival was shattered last night when a herd of Zebras blocked the SCENTient Beings’ entry to the stage.[pullquote]This festival is not about personal politics or identity politics. This festival is a peaceful and joyous attempt to support The Park’s refugees.—Beasts of Burden lead singer Alfredo Ox[/pullquote]
After several tense minutes, the festival’s official hosts, The Beasts of Burden, butted their way through the herd and made a heartfelt appeal to the Zebras.
“This festival is not about personal politics or identity politics,” Alfredo Ox said. “This festival is a peaceful and joyous attempt to support The Park’s refugees. These are Animals who have suffered terribly in their lives and we are here this weekend to lend our support to them, both emotionally and financially. I appeal to you as sentient beings, yourselves, to take your cause elsewhere. We will listen to you at another time, at another venue. But, for now, please step back and allow the next set of musicians to take the stage.”
Ox’s appeal fell on deaf ears, however, but as he was speaking, the Does of Peace moved in to begin active peacekeeping. While the Doves flew above the herd, the Does mixed among the Zebras, moving them to the sides and securing a path for the SCENTient Beings to ascend the stage.
The group of Zebras, led by Jafari Pundamilia and Elton Zebra, demanded an apology from SCENTient Beings composer Faramund Stinktier. In a communiqué last week, the Zebras accused Stinktier of committing a crime against them when he revealed that he’d always believed he was a Zebra.
“By perpetuating a stereotype and using that stereotype for the betterment of his own life, he has committed a crime against The Park’s Zebra community,” the communiqué said.
When the Beings finally made it to the stage, they briefly acknowledged the protesters by saying they had the “utmost respect for The Park’s Zebra community,” and dedicated the night’s set to “all Animals of all species everywhere.”
Park Police, who were called to the scene by Beasts of Burden manager Ignatius Herder, said no charges were laid last night.
“We attended at the scene, but no charges were laid. We’re not expecting to be called out again,” said spokesAnimal for the police.
The Beats of Burden music festival wraps up this evening. SCENTient Beings are scheduled to perform again this afternoon.
