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OTD in 2015—Hibernating community breaks with tradition in Keeper of the Nut selection

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Keeper of the Nut Ekeoma L. Girraaf

Ekeoma L. Girraaf, elected 2016 Keeper of the Nut on November 11, 2015

Not even the cold rain that lashed The Park yesterday morning could dampen the enthusiasm of Malinda L. Hamster.

The president of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) could barely contain her joy as she stood amongst her peers and fellow citizens and surrendered the symbolic nut to Ekeoma L. Girraaf, elected 2016 Keeper of the Nut on November 11.

“On this solemn occasion, I entrust this nut to you and entreat you to guard it and to keep it safe until such time as the hibernating community requests its return,” the Hamster said as she offered the nut to Girraaf.

Clutching the nut, Girraaf quietly spoke the traditional oath of its Keeper:

“I swear to keep this nut from harm and to preserve it intact until such time as the hibernating community requests its return. And I do so with respect for all Park citizens.”

With that, The Park’s hibernating community made history, having officially broken with its long tradition of electing small Animals to fulfill the all-important rôle of Keeper of the Nut.

“It’s always been a small Animal,” said Beatrice Zilonis, Professor of History at the University of West Terrier, in a radio interview this morning.

“Like chooses like. We’ve never had a problem with that, but they should be very proud of themselves today for taking such a big step beyond that,” she said.

Park Historical Society president Clark Cascanueces agrees.

“For many reasons, it was a special day,” he says. “The fact that we could look beyond ourselves to an Animal who has very little in common with us and trust him…that says a lot and it bodes well for progress here in The Park. Jor [The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy] would be very proud.”

As for Girraaf, he says he’s almost ready to relax, after spending a few tense days wondering whether he would be accepted in his new rôle.

“It’s been a tough year and I wouldn’t have been surprised by a backlash. But I’ve received a warm welcome and lots of good wishes. It makes me proud to be a citizen of The Park and Keeper of the Nut,” he says.

OTD in 2013—”Hibernation Nation” enjoys its half-day in the sun

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Giuliana Lontra

Giuliana Imelda Lontra clutches the symbolic nut that was surrendered to her for safekeeping by Malinda L. Hamster, president of The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) during this morning’s Surrender of the Nut ceremony. Lontra was elected Keeper of the Nut on November 11.

The sun shone brightly this morning as Malinda L. Hamster, president of The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), surrendered the symbolic nut to 2014 Keeper of the Nut, Giuliana Imelda Lontra.

“On this solemn occasion, I entrust this nut to you and entreat you to guard it and to keep it safe until such time as the hibernating community requests its return,” the Hamster said as she offered the nut to Lontra.

Lontra clutched the nut, and spoke the traditional oath of the Keeper of the Nut:

“I swear to keep this nut from harm and to preserve it intact until such time as the hibernating community requests its return. And I do so with respect for all Park citizens.”

With that, the solemn portion of the day was done, and the crowd began to enjoy its half-day holiday.

While attendees partook of the vast array of goodies supplied by The Compost Heap, Provisions by Petrounel, Ants in Your Pantry and Florette’s Fine Edibles, talk turned to memories of past Surrenders and to the evolution of the occasion.

“Historically, the Surrender of the Nut was a solemn occasion. It was a recognition of the trust that Animals place in each other for their very survival and the Keeper of the Nut is a symbol of that. It has always been a very powerful moment for us,” said Beatrice Zilonis, Professor of History at the University of West Terrier.

Park Historical Society president Clark Cascanueces agreed.

“The Return of the Nut is also very powerful… the idea that it is returned unharmed and intact, no matter what the Winter was like, that no harm has come to it, even if there was a shortage of food, it wasn’t eaten. I find that very moving. The nut is sacred and so few things are anymore. To me, there is also so much symbolism in both occasions being half-day holidays. The two parts come together to make a whole. The symbolism in that is amazing,” he said.

OTD in 2009—Grooming Houses report sharp drop in revenue

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The Park’s grooming houses have experienced a sharp drop in revenue over the past few months, according to information contained in a report issued today by The Park’s Finance Officers.

Entitled, “A Report to the Archons on the State of the Park’s Economy,” the document cites new financial data that indicate the drop in revenue is due to the proliferation of “pop-up” grooming establishments in The Park.

According to Chief Financial Officer, Mercedes Ardilla, The Park’s grooming house owners, who are members of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS), have requested a meeting with the outgoing group of Archons in order to discuss new licencing regulations for all Park retail establishments. According to PASS president, Wellington Whistlepig, their plan is to get a commitment from the Archons before their term ends in Proto 28 AZ.

In the past, the Archons have been reluctant to deal directly with the contentious issue of licencing retail establishments in The Park. PASS members believe that they have a good chance of changing that now, given their dire economic situation. Also in their favour, says Whistlepig, is the fact that The Consumer Protection Agency of The Park (CPAP) is currently investigating a number of “shady” refurral services, the majority of which are classified as “pop-up” grooming houses. Given the low level of consumer satisfaction experienced when using these pop-up groomers, Whistlepig says he is confident the Archons will see the value of licencing, both for the consumer and the retailer.

OTD in 2015—Holstein Fashion signals its intent to move into the hibernation market

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Holstein Fashion

Holstein Fashion announced the creation of its two new subsidiaries today

Holstein Fashion, the parent company of Designs by Holstein, has signalled its intent to move into the hibernation market.

In an announcement issued today, company president and CEO Balbina Ko confirmed that the successful fashion house will be expanding its reach in the coming year.

“We are excited to announce the birth of two new Holstein Fashion subsidiaries, ‘Nation and ‘Nator,” the announcement said.

The companies, though created at the same time, are not “identical twins,” according to Ko. And, while the announcement was coy regarding the actual future business activities of the two subsidiaries, retail insiders claim the expansion into the hibernation market has been in the works for some time.

“The hibernation market is a very lucrative one, and for the most part, it’s been underserved,” says Wellington Whistlepig, founder and current president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

“I think it fits well with their business model, not to mention their commitment to The Park’s striped and spotted community. It’s taken a few years for Park businesses to realize the market’s potential and, in that sense, HF is a bit of a trail blazer here, but I expect to see more and more of our businesses targeting these consumers in the coming years,” he says.

As it stands, though, The Park’s hibernators will have to make do with our current crop of hibernation outfitters. And that suits them just fine.

“We look forward to meeting their needs,” says Nafari Bongo, Director of Sales for GoUnderground, The Park’s oldest and largest hibernation outfitter.

OTD in 2014—Pre-hibernation sales “brisk” as Park awaits results of POPS election

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Web

2014 pre-hibernation sales are brisk, shopkeepers and service providers report

Hibernation outfitters and service providers are pleased with their sales thus far, according to the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

“2014 looks like a banner year and it comes as a bit of a surprise,” said founder and current PASS president Wellington Whistlepig this morning in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio.

Shopkeepers and grooming houses are reporting “brisk” business this season and the banks have reported larger than average deposits.

“If sales continue at this rate, we could match last year’s figures or even surpass them, which would be an amazing feat, considering that we had two extra weeks of shopping last year,” Whistlepig said.

The 2013 pre-hibernation season was extended from November 17 to December 1, due to difficulties in calculating the votes and establishing a winner in the election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS). The result was an increase in retail sales as well as an increase in expenditures in the construction sector, as Animals used the extra time to renovate their hibernation quarters or to build new ones.

This year, though, the Park Election Office says we can expect the results to be announced well before November 17, the official date of hibernation.

“Gone are the days of next-day results,” Park Election Office head Gerrit Wezel says.

“Our exploding population and the skyrocketing growth in the number of candidates make that impossible. But I can guarantee that we will have the results by the weekend,” he says.

The announcement likely will result in a rush to make last-minute arrangements, so Whistlepig is quick to remind Park Animals that shops will be closed until 1:00 p.m. on Friday, November 14 in order to celebrate the ceremonies of the Surrender of the Nut.

OTD in 2016—”We don’t count votes by species,” Park Election Office head tells media

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vote-by-speciesMembers of the media drew ire this morning from Park Election Office head Gerritt Wezel when they pressed him on the subject of Groundhog participation in Monday’s election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

The media inquiries were made at a short press conference which Wezel had called to issue an update on the counting of votes and the estimated time of announcing the election winner.

But when the conference was opened up to questions, it became obvious that most media representatives were more interested in whether The Park’s Groundhog population had exercised its franchise in this unusual election.

After a few failed attempts to move past the question, a visibly annoyed Wezel issued a terse response: “We don’t count votes by species.”

The answer, though, seemed not to satisfy the media, who then pressed Wezel on the reason for the three polls the PEO conducted before the election, two of which indicated that The Park’s Groundhog population had become disenchanted with the present system.

Wezel did not directly answer that question, but he did confirm that the Archons and the PEO were looking at that polling information “very carefully.”

“All I can tell you right now is that there are going to be changes made to the POPS elections,” he said. “We are rapidly outgrowing this system and we need to take action as soon as possible.”

OTD in 2012—Mixed reaction as Bastiaan Groundhog wins POPS election

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Bastiaan Groundhog: 2013 POPS

Amid roaring applause and loud shouts of support from the crowd, Bastiaan Groundhog accepted the POPS baton from Ulrica Gilda Groundhog, 2012 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring, at a moving ceremony held last night at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

After a gruelling night of debating his fellow candidates on Tuesday, Bastiaan retired to his burrow, where he remained for the entirety of election day. His only trip out was a quick one to the polls, where he cast his vote, presumably for himself.

“It’s a secret ballot, so I won’t say who I voted for,” the Groundhog said, flashing a knowing smile, as he spoke to reporters yesterday outside his burrow. “But I will say that I feel honoured to have been chosen 2013 POPS and I am humbled by the trust my fellow Park residents have put in me. I promise to do my very best on February 2.”

Outside the theatre, however, as the crowd gathered for a look at their new prognosticator, some Animals looked glum and disappointed.

“Same old, same old,” mumbled Sorcha Skunk, referring to the fact that no Animal except for a Groundhog has ever won the POPS election.

Others seemed to agree.

“You have to remember,” said Alexandre Lemure, “that it’s called ‘Groundhog Day’. It’s no surprise that they have the upper hand in the elections.”

Others, though, seemed less disgruntled and more hopeful.

“Last year was the first year that any Animal other than a Groundhog ran,” said Bertrand Macaw. “It’s small steps, but we’ll get there, eventually. In the meantime, we should support Bastiaan. We don’t want him to feel negative energy going into hibernation,” he said.

OTD in 2013—Election results delayed due to record high voter turnout

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Developing StoryResults of the 2014 POPS election have been delayed due to a record high voter turnout, according to the Park Election Office.

The election was held yesterday and this is the first time since 2003, when POPS elections were established, that results have not been announced the following morning.

In a statement released early this afternoon, PEO head Gerritt Wezel acknowledged that his office was unprepared for the numbers of Animals who turned out to cast their vote this year.

“We did not anticipate this degree of interest in the POPS election and we simply do not have the Animalpower, in terms of counting the votes, that would enable us at this time to project the winner with any accuracy,” the statement said.

Wezel confirmed to The Mammalian Daily this evening that he had left his staff go home to sleep and that the vote counting would resume tomorrow morning at 9:00.

OTD in 2016—Doves called back to assist Does of Peace in monitoring polling stations

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vote-hereThe Doves of Peace were called back from migration last week to assist their sister-agency, the Does of Peace, in monitoring polling stations during today’s election.

According to Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), the unprecedented decision was made “to ensure the integrity of the election.”

The Doves and Does, who are fully autonomous sub-groups of Park Police, attend Park celebrations and days of significance, but this is the first time in Park history that they have been called to monitor an election.

Speaking last night from a pit stop a few kilometres from The Park, Doves of Peace spokesBird Georgina Golub said the decision to call her group back to The Park was appropriate, “if not prescient.”

“Yesterday’s violence at the All Candidates’ mega rally was a good sign that we should come home and keep the peace during this historic election,” she said.

The violence that Golub referred to at yesterday’s rally started with one attendee deliberately tripping Ekeoma L. Girraaf, who had just finished speaking in support of candidate Yannis Tavros. Tavros’s supporters, including his campaign manager Raimundo Zorro, ganged up on the attendee and held him until Park Police forced them to release him. At that point, supporters of the beaten attendee cornered Zorro and tried to block police access to him. Zorro, who was convicted last year of hate-mongering and engaging in specist activities, was eventually removed from the rally, but not before at least fifty Animals were arrested and many more were taken to hospital.

Golub said that after re-grouping, the Doves would be ready for work at noon today.

“We’re looking forward to monitoring a peaceful and enjoyable election process,” she said.

OTD in 2013—POPS 2014: Let the campaign begin!

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POPS 2014 List of Candidates

The list of candidates for POPS 2014 was released at 2:00 a.m. this morning by the Park Election Office.

The Park’s Election Office has released the names of the 145 Animals who have chosen to stand as candidates for the position of 2014 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

At 2:00 a.m. this morning, the list of candidates was posted at the law courts and in front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, the venue that will host tonight’s all-candidates debate. The list will remain posted until all votes are tallied on November 7.

The total number of candidates this year is 145 and they represent a wide variety of species, many of whom have not previously been associated with weather prognostication.

“It’s an increase of more than 500 per cent over last year,” PEO head Gerritt Wezel told The Mammalian Daily this morning.

“We’re going to see quite the fight tonight,” he said. “You can tell from the campaigning so far.”

Some candidates began their campaign at 2:01 this morning, just one minute after the list of candidates was posted. Others, however, opted to wait for more Animals to be awake before they knocked on den doors or slipped their brochures into burrows or tunnels.

“I was up, of course, but I didn’t want to rouse any other Animal from sleep. I don’t think that’s how you get votes,” said Corazón Jirafa, who is the first of her species to stand for election.

Both Jirafa and Blandine Okapi said they believed it was important for them to run, even if they don’t stand a chance of winning.

“There’s been so much talk about striped and spotted Animals not getting a fair shake in The Park, not being treated equally,” said Okapi. “I kind of wanted to test that out and see for myself what kind of reaction I got.”

Candidates will be campaigning throughout the day until the all-candidates debate begins at 8:00 this evening.

“And after that, it’s up to the electorate to ponder its decision in blissful silence,” says Wezel.

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