The Mammalian Daily

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OTD in 2016—Park citizens not as politically savvy as in previous decades: UWT study

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CLueless

A new study out of the University of West Terrier’s Barnaby School of Government concludes that Park citizens are not as politically savvy as they were in previous decades.

Entitled, “Clueless,” the study, which will be published in the October issue of the Park Journal of Politics and Government (PJPG), found that a large number of Park citizens have virtually no knowledge of our system of government or its origins.

“Without being unnecessarily harsh, I think this shows what many of us have felt: that too many of our citizens—of all generations—have been lulled into a false sense of security and do not feel the need to engage politically,” says Delia Quagga, the author of the study and the School’s head.

According to Quagga’s research, that sense of security is particularly strong among those who were born into zoocracy at a time of relative peace among the species.

“They’ve always lived under peaceful Animal self-rule. They seem to believe that the battle has been fought and won forever. And that makes them extremely vulnerable,” Quagga contends.

The study also found that many Park citizens feel free to engage in stereotyping, primarily because they don’t remember a time when such behaviour posed a danger to peace.

“All of this underscores the need for us to communicate more effectively about history and politics,” Quagga says. “We mustn’t allow a situation in which Park citizens take anything for granted.”

OTD in 2013—The Promise of The Park: should we still believe?

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The Promise of The ParkEDITORIAL
Over 31 years ago, the Animals who were resident in The Park took to the water, to the streets, and to the skies to celebrate the unlikeliest of events: the return of a piece of land to those who had inhabited it from its earliest days.

Though that victory was hard-won, we remain proud that it was not hard-fought. It was Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, who declared that self-government should be achieved without violence.

“It is by the strength of our numbers and not of our teeth and claws that we will win back what is rightfully ours,” he proclaimed.

And so he led thousands of Animals out of the darkness of danger and subjugation into the light of peace and autonomy. Incorporating his long-held beliefs and newly-acquired understanding, he established a code of laws that he hoped would enable all manner of species to prosper, to find happiness, and most importantly, to live together peacefully in The Park.

But, even more than that, Jor established The Park as a sanctuary. The Park, he declared, would be a place where all Animals would be welcome, no matter who they were or whence they came, whether they were threatened or abused or simply seeking a new home. It would be a place where all Animals would be entitled to equal treatment and opportunity. And a host of opportunities there would be, for all who arrived here and for their descendants. This lofty goal was enshrined in law and it came to be known as “The Promise of The Park.”

Time has removed some of the shimmer from that promise, as time is wont to do. There have been breaches; infractions have been brought to light, the economy has become stagnant. And questions have been raised about our ability to live up to Jor’s ideals.

Questions are good. Questions lead not only to answers, but to insights. And they enable us to see ourselves as others see us. We should never be afraid of questions. But do we need to question The Promise of The Park, itself?

We don’t think so.

While law, The Promise of The Park is still an ideal, a goal, an aspiration. It is a work in progress, something that requires both regular tuning to work properly and respond to environmental changes and daily vigilance to ensure its safety in a hostile and uncertain world.

When The Promise is threatened, whether from outside or from within, our belief in ourselves and in our abilities is threatened. But our belief in The Promise never should be. Nor should we succumb to these threats; instead, we should renew our commitment to the ideals that are the foundation of The Park’s laws.

The Promise of The Park is intangible, but real. And we believe.

OTD in 2014—AVN TV to turn its lens on Humans

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This Autumn, the AVN Television Network (AVN TV) will begin broadcasting a new live television series that will focus on Humans as they spend time in The Park.

AVN’s Chief Executive Officer Orville Condor and Program Director Izrine Corneille made the announcement at a press conference this morning.

“We [at AVN TV] have a unique perspective on The Park, and we want to use that perspective to serve our customers,” Corneille said. “This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.”

Corneille said the show will be broadcast for two hours (one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon) every day of the week. The network’s initial contract with the show’s producers calls for the series to run for 12 consecutive months.

“We wanted to show Humans in every season, starting with the Autumn,” Condor said. 

The show is scheduled to begin on September 22.

AVN Television is a wholly-owned subsidiary of AVN Media, a Park-based media corporation whose holdings also include AVN Radio, CLucK Radio and The Avian Messenger.

OTD in 2015—PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

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PollinatePark Finance Office head Valentina Abeja took some time off today from talking about her 2017 budget to discuss what she calls her ultimate passion: pollination.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio’s Sunday morning show, Abeja, who presented her second budget on August 17, strongly encouraged her compatriots to “get out and pollinate for the good of The Park and its residents.”

“I implore all who are able to get out and do your job and pollinate, for the sake of our survival,” she said.

Abeja also took the opportunity to unveil an initiative that she and A.P. Civet, president of the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF), collaborated on. Called “Pollinators’ Progress,” the initiative helps pollinators keep track of their efforts and rewards them through a points system.

“It’s simple,” Abeja said. “The more points you receive, the more rewards come your way.”

Although Abeja did not elaborate on the nature of the “rewards,” the PFO head was quick to quash any notions that this was a system of payment for pollinators.

“We are not in the business of paying Park citizens to pollinate. Not at all. What we are doing is trying to encourage those who can to get out and do their part for The Park,” she said.

OTD in 2014—Finance Office puts 2015 Budget info under embargo until Friday

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embargo

PFO puts budget info under embargo

Park Animals will have to wait until Friday to find out how the Park Finance Office (PFO) intends to spend its funds in the coming year.

In a directive to all media (now in possession of the 2015 budget), Park Finance Officer Milton Struts cautioned against disclosing any information until a scheduled press conference at noon on Friday.

The budget, which is already two weeks late, has been the subject of much speculation since The Mammalian Daily broke the story in July that the Archons planned to tackle the growing inequality among Park Animals by streamlining the 2015 budget.

According to a trusted source close to the PFO, changes in the budget could include eliminating the 3% of funds that were allocated to tourism and tourism promotion, returning arts and sports funding to the levels set in the 2012 budget (more than twice the 2014 levels), and shaving a bit off special events to pay for better weather, healthcare and refugee services.

OTD in 2013—September on our minds: mark your calendars!

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September 2013The Park is a busy place in September, and this year, there’s even more to do and see and hear. So, The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on what’s on for September 2013.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

End of EstivationIt’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

 

 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

Beats of Burden logo

The 1st annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 14-16.


 

2013 Interspecial Summer Games

2013 Interspecial Summer Games LOGOThey only happen once every six years and the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games promise to be the sporting event of the decade, with more events scheduled than ever before! Watch our Park athletes compete for medals in a wide array of sports on the field, in the sky or in the water. September 22-October 1.

 

The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" have changedIt’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from one the event’s on-site groomers (gratis, of course!).

“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”   September 27

OTD in 2015—Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

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headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

OTD in 2011—New series based on Paard book leads pack in Fall TV schedule

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Author and historian Pieter Paard

A new, five-part television series based on a book by historian, Pieter Paard, is set to air this Fall on Park Broadcasting Corporation Television.

PBC TV executives confirmed at a press conference today that it has purchased the series, which is based on Paard’s historical tome, From Slavery to Freedom: A History of Pack Animals.  The exact broadcast date was not announced, but it is rumoured to be slated for airing on October 1, the start of the new television season.

The series, which was filmed in The Park at the beginning of the Summer, stars Park heartthrob, Leopoldo Llama, in the title role of Antonio Astoa.  The book was adapted for film by Sonia Esel and Bernardo Burro.

OTD in 2013—Stolen autochthonous art recovered by Park Police

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BIRD PAINTING

An important painting by one of The Park’s most revered autochthonous artists has been recovered by Park Police. The painting was stolen while it was one display during last Saturday’s Part ART Walk

An important painting by one of The Park’s most revered autochthonous artists has been recovered by Park Police, it was confirmed today.

The painting, entitled, L’oiseau à l’affût, was stolen while on display outside LeTwiggery during last Saturday’s Park ART Walk (PAW).

“One minute it was there; the next, it was gone,” one  regular PAWgoer told The Mammalian Daily.

“I turned around to tell my companions to take a look at it and when I turned back, there was only an empty easel standing there,” she said.

The painting by renowned autochthonous artist and Park citizen Hervé Huard was on loan to LeTwiggery as part of The Park’s annual Park ART Walk. A number of retail establishments as well as art galleries participate in the popular event by offering space free of charge so that artists can display their work. This year’s PAW was dedicated to the work of The Park’s autochthonous artists.

Huard has thus far refused to comment on either the theft or recovery, but Park Police believe the theft may be part of a larger problem in The Park. Sources close to the Society of Autochthonous Artists (SAA) say the group has received threats recently and several autochthonous works have been vandalized over the past few months. A spokesAnimal for Park Police said they are “currently involved in a thorough investigation of the matter” but cannot comment on the specifics of the case at this time.

OTD in 2007—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Golf Ball

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Today’s ball is the GOLF ball.

The golf ball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally known as the “gulf” ball, these dimpled, spherical formations were discovered at the mouth of the Gulf of México, many thousands of years before the common era (and Zoocracy).

Naturally occurring and of limestone, archaeological evidence suggests that the ball’s dimples were formed by erosion that was caused by the thick sands found in the deep Gulf.

Many scholars believe that the first gulf balls were discovered by Chihuahuas who had set up camp in the area. Others are of the opinion that it was the Havanese who were the first to find the gulf ball, living as they did at the mouth of the Gulf of México. All are in agreement, however, that it was, indeed, the Havanese who spearheaded the campaign to manufacture replicas of the ball and to encourage its use as a recreational tool. It was also the Havanese who transported it, many centuries later, to the British Isles.

The first recorded use of the gulf ball was found in the log of a ship captain.

It read:“The dog [sic] brought the stone gulf ball onto the ship and [one of] the crew[men], [who were] by then exhausted and of low spirits, took a long, sharp object and smacked the stone back into the water. The rest of the crew applauded his effort and thought the deed done until the dog brought another stone for smacking…”

Thus was born the game that we now call “Golf,” which is played with the ball of the same name, the word “gulf” having undergone vocalic change as a result of its pairing with the word “ball.”

Since that time, the game and its ball have provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: A Short History of Canine Sport; Balls: History and Prehistory, Volume 1; The Havanese and the Coming of Golf; Golf: The Game and its History; Limestone Cowboys; Balls Across the Water: The True Story of the Gulf Ball; Dimpled Future: The Effect of Golf on the Lives of Humans; various newspaper articles and reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

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