TMD Reporters – Page 13

The Park’s “Share the Hair Shake for Charity” happens today!

March 29, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The Groundhog has spoken, The Park’s hibernating community has awakened, and Spring has sprung!

So, what’s next on the agenda? The Park’s semi-annual Shake for Charity, of course!

Come on! Get up and out of your lodges, dens, burrows, coops, kennels, lairs, sties, pens, or wherever you live and shake yourself silly for the benefit of others!

Volunteers from The Park’s various charities will be on hand to collect hair at the Wishing Well until midnight tonight. Refreshments will be available, as well, courtesy of The Compost Heap and Florette’s Fine Edibles.

So, come one, come all! If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t!

The Promise of The Park: success or failure? Tell us!

March 28, 2012 By TMD Reporters

Economy forces Animals to work as “domestics” outside Park

March 25, 2012 By TMD Reporters

A record number of unemployed Animals have left The Park to take jobs as domestic companions to Humans

The sluggish economy is taking its toll on the professional and personal lives of Park citizens.

“The situation is dire,” says Dr. Anneliese Cissa, head of the Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science at the University of West Terrier and author of a new report on the economy entitled, “Seeking Greener Pastures: The Exodus of the Unwilling and Able.”

The report, which analyzed economic and employment data gathered by The Park’s Department of Statistics and Records, paints a gloomy picture of the future unless immediate action is taken.

According to the report, recent statistics show that a record number of Animals have had to leave their homes and families in the past year to seek work outside The Park.

“The Park is simply not generating a sufficient number of jobs for its population,” says Dr. Cissa. “As a consequence, we are losing our best and brightest…the skilled and the most diligent. And Humans are the ones who are benefitting.”

Indeed, figures cited in the report indicate that, out of financial necessity, a great many Animals have been forced to take jobs as “domestic companions” to Humans outside The Park.

“This is tragic on so many levels,” says Cissa. “These are Animals who were trained and educated at institutions in The Park, Animals who were promised a better life than their ancestors had. These are Animals who believed in the Promise of The Park, and who believed that Animals would never have to serve Humans again. They’ve been betrayed by the economy and they are starting to question their commitment to The Park, itself. It is a very challenging situation.”

Dr. Cissa’s report is scheduled to be presented to the Archons’ full assembly on Tuesday.

Majority of Park Animals home-schooled: study

March 1, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The majority of Park Animals receive their basic education at home, according to the results of a study completed last year.

The study, which was commissioned by the 2011 Archons in conjunction with the Park Education Working Collective (PEWC), was conducted by researchers at the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education at the University of West Terrier.

The results of the study, published yesterday in the academic quarterly, Journal of Education Theory and Experience (JETE), indicate that a very small minority of Animals take advantage of any of the educational opportunities offered free of charge by The Park.

“This is an area of great concern to us,” said head researcher Domoina Fossa. “Over the past few years, we have witnessed an increase in interspecial crime and particularly violent crime. We believe this could be mitigated by introducing Animals to other species at an earlier point in their lives.”

According to renowned Park historian, Beatrice Zilonis, currently a professor in the Department of History at UWT, the impetus for developing The Park’s educational resources was exactly that idea:

“Interspecial harmony is one of the guiding principles of zoocracy. It was one of Jor’s [The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy] core beliefs that we must foster interspecial harmony through Animals’ knowledge of and friendship with different species,” says Zilonis.

Many in The Park believe that basic education for Animals has been neglected and that institutions of higher learning have received a disproportionate amount of attention and resources in recent years.

“We will have to attend to this unbalanced situation if we want to avoid serious problems in the future,” says researcher Fossa.

Ulrica Gilda Groundhog: “Get ready for Spring!”

February 2, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The Park’s 2012 Official Prognisticator of Spring says that Winter is almost over.

At precisely 7:46 this morning, the Groundhog emerged from her burrow and, seeing no sign of her shadow, predicted that Spring is just around the corner.

The Mammalian Daily and all The Park’s citizens salute you, Ulrica, for a job well done!

Don’t forget, Mammalian Daily reporters are blogging live from the Groundhog Day festivities. Click here to log on.

POPS prediction to occur at any moment

February 2, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The Park awaits the prediction of the 2012 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), Ulrica Gilda Groundhog.

The View From Here

February 1, 2012 By TMD Reporters

Less than a day before Groundhog Day 2012, Millicent Hayberry reminisces about holidays past…

Click here to read her story.

Groundhog Day Schedule Released

January 25, 2012 By TMD Reporters

Ulrica Gilda Groundhog, 2012 POPS

The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has just released the Official Schedule of the 2012 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

Click here to read details: http://groundhogdayinthepark.wordpress.com/

2012 Archons announced

January 15, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The names of the 35 Animals who will form the The Park’s 2012 government have been released.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons was posted at the Law Courts early this morning. In order for Park citizens and residents to review the names, the list will remain posted until the end of the week, a spokesanimal for the Archon Transition Team told The Mammalian Daily. Those who are unable to attend at the Law Courts may click here as of January 16 to review the list.

The Archons, who were selected through the process of sortition, will be sworn in at a ceremony that will take place tomorrow at 10:00. Thousands of Park citizens are expected to attend the swearing-in ceremony, which will be held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

Below are pictures of some of the 2012 Archons: