With Tulip season about to begin, workers at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm are preparing for long days, overnight stays, and time spent away from their families. "It's going to be difficult, but we've got the staff and supplies in place to do it and we believe we're ready for whatever comes at us," says head nurse Hermione Hippo. The hospital has been preparing for a busy Spring since the end of November, when the 2013 Tulip … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—Park innovators to watch: FoodFinder™
Second in a series From the companies that brought you gewper, the social networking site that allows users to smell "those they know and those they might wish to know" and the popular scent-masking product FeralNoMore™, comes this new app that is sure to appeal to every species of Park Animal. FoodFinder™, described at its launch last month by RhinoTech CEO Aldrich Nashorn as "the ultimate service tool for Animals," claims to be able to find … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Threats force 2013 POPS to flee to “undisclosed location”
Bastiaan Groundhog, the zoocratically-elected 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) has been removed from his burrow and will remain at an "undisclosed location" for an extended period of time, his handlers said today. At a hastily scheduled press event, spokesAnimals for the 2013 POPS confirmed that threats made on the Groundhog's life were the reason for the hasty exit from his burrow. "On seventeen separate occasions, Bastiaan … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—Striped and spotted Animals at risk of psychological illness: new study
A new study out of the University of West Terrier suggests that The Park's striped and spotted Animals are at risk of psychological illness and the consequences thereof. In a paper scheduled for publication in the May issue of the prestigious Journal of Experimental and Reactive Psychology (JERP), researchers say that striped and spotted Animals are at risk of developing a kind of "self-loathing" that, among other things, does not bode well … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2013—Archons lambasted over commissioning “official” Park song
The 2013 Archons are feeling the heat from Park citizens just days after announcing that they commissioned the composition of an "official" Park song. Their intention was to have a song created "that … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2017—Alvin Tinamou, mate confirm separation
It's official and it's forever: Alvin Tinamou and his mate Adela have separated permanently. In a brief statement released this morning, the publisher of The Avian Messenger and organizer of Park … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2014—Weather Office to Polar Bear Poetry Picnickers: prepare for a soggy bottom
The Park Weather Office has issued a warning to those who plan to attend this year's Polar Bears' Poetry Picnic: prepare for a soggy bottom. "This year's extended Winter season, coupled with record … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
