Thousands of Animals flooded The Park's grounds today to demonstrate their opposition to new legislation that many believe will negatively affect life in The Park. The legislation, whose formal name is "The Calendar Harmonization Act" ("An Act to harmonize The Park's calendar with that of the calendar or calendars used outside The Park and to amend certain Acts in consequence thereof") is scheduled to come into effect later this month. … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—Despite the bitter cold, jubilation reigns at Return of the Nut ceremony
The temperature was well below normal, the wind was howling and the snow blew upwards and stuck to our whiskers. But there were no complaints from the jubilant throng that braved the elements to attend yesterday's Return of the Nut ceremony. As 2015 Keeper of the Nut Eduarda Teresinha Coelho swore the ancient oath that the Nut was "kept from harm and preserved intact," a great cheer went up from the crowd. The attendees, most of them … [Read all...]
OTD in 2014—DWBS warns hibernators: skip Return of the Nut ceremonies
HEALTH WARNING The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) has taken the unusual step of issuing a health warning to The Park's newly-awakened hibernators: skip this year's Return of the Nut ceremonies. The full statement reads as follows: In our opinion, the stresses due to this year's shortened period of torpor, in combination with the sudden increase in temperature, pose a serious health risk to our newly-awakened hibernating citizens. On … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—Barkettes’ songs to be translated into different Animal languages
Thisbe and the Barkettes have embarked on a new project: the translation of some of their biggest hits into a number of different Animal languages. In a statement released yesterday by their manager Hilde Blaft, the group explained their reasons for making the historic decision: "After much reflection and in the service of interspecial harmony, Thisbe and the Barkettes have decided to release some of our most beloved songs in a number of … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2016—No-biting rule suspended for police at Saturday’s Return of the Nut: gossip site
DEVELOPING STORY The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) has agreed to suspend the longstanding no-biting rule for Park Police who are on duty at Sunday's Return of the Nut ceremonies, … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Gunnar Rotte, Douglas Cheetah to debate tomorrow on Yannis Tavros show
Two days before The Park celebrates the Return of the Nut, Gunnar Rotte and Douglas Cheetah will face off against each other on the Yannis Tavros show in a debate on the merits of sortition. In a … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2017—Off the docket: Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon postpones February court
BREAKING NEWS The office of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon issued a statement today advising all concerned parties that the trials and hearings over which he was to preside in the remaining days of … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
