BREAKING NEWS: Less than a week before the annual Anixi Agrarian Jubilee, the Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park has averted what its leaders are calling a "disaster for the ages." At an emotional press conference this morning, WMPSAP president Kalliope Sun Bear revealed that early last week, she and the leader of another Park environmental group (whom she declined to name) were made aware of Chief Archon Klarissa … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2012—Central Bank warns against short-term interest rate hikes
In a statement issued this morning, the Central Bank of The Park warned financial institutions against offering high, short-term interest rates to their estivating clients. "It is not in the interest of The Park nor of the client [for banks] to adjust interest rates for terms that occur during the dormancy period," the Bank said. The practice of offering high, short-term interest rates to hibernating and estivating clients has been in place … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—Barkettes’ set list disappears from theatre moments after concert ends
BREAKING NEWS The set list for the May 8 concert of Thisbe and the Barkettes, held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, has gone missing. According to theatre security, the list was affixed to the stage throughout the concert and it was security's job to remove it after the band packed up. "We were given specific instructions about its removal," said a spokesAnimal for the theatre. "We were told to keep it safe and secure, because Thisbe … [Read all...]
OTD in 2017—DWBS “disappointed” that Mating Dance selfie warnings not heeded
For the second year in a row, selfies and other photos of Park Animals that were taken during last Friday's Mating Dance have been posted on the internet. "It appears that our repeated warnings to Park Animals to take precautions against Humans photographing them taking selfies fell on deaf ears," said Cornelius Kakapo, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), at a press conference this morning. While … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2017—MWM head takes on Park media for manipulating readers “like advertisers”
Ronald Grouse, the director of Park media's Month Without Metaphor, has taken Park media to task over what he describes as the manipulation of their readership "in the style of advertisers." In a … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2013—Transport problems caused Spring’s tardy arrival: PWO
The Park Weather Office finally has offered a response to Animals' complaints about the delay in the arrival of Spring weather this year. But it's not an explanation that is satisfying to many. In … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2012—”Mating Dance Blues” are real, says expert
If "woe is me" describes the way you're feeling after Sunday's Mating Dance, take heart. A new study shows that at least a third of those who attend mating events such as Sunday's dance suffer some … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
