With a little more than two months to go before their term ends, the 2012 Archons announced plans today for "swift action" on their initiative to establish standardized public education in The Park. At a press conference held this morning, Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt unveiled the official plan for the establishment of a system of "dedicated venues" across The Park "to fulfill the burning need for a standardized system of … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—The polls are open, the race is on. May the best candidate become POPS 2016
The polls are open. At sixteen different stations around The Park, the ballots are neatly stacked and election officials stand at the ready to assist voters as they file in. "The race is on. All that's left is for Park Animals to tick whichever box belongs to the candidate they think will perform the duties of POPS best," said an exhausted-looking Gerritt Wezel this morning. If voter turnout is as high as it has been over the past few years, … [Read all...]
OTD in 2016—As POPS mega rally begins, Tavros gets support from 2016 Keeper of the Nut
In what many are calling a "November unnerving," 2016 Keeper of the Nut Ekeoma L. Girraaf announced late last night that he will attend today's POPS All Candidates' mega rally in support of Yannis Tavros. Girraaf, who last year became the first large Animal elected by The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) to serve as Keeper of the Nut, says it's "high time this position became more inclusive." In a radio interview this morning on … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—POPS election update: so many candidates, so little time for debate
LATE BREAKING NEWS The numbers are in and they're huge. When Park Election Office head Gerritt Wezel booked today's press conference, he didn't expect to have to postpone it. But that he did— twice—because even though registration closed at noon, it took over three hours for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon to certify the registration forms. And the final number? "Would you believe two hundred and seven?" Wezel told the press. "And only twenty per … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2014—Simply Structures sues after losing bid to build 2015 prognostication pad
BREAKING NEWS Simply Structures has filed suit against the Park Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations after losing its bid to construct the prognostication pad for the … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Hieronymous Hedgehog invokes uncle at emotional swearing-in ceremony
It was comfortably warm yesterday afternoon and outside the law courts, a crowd gathered to watch Hieronymous Hedgehog take the oath of office as The Park's first official Hibernation … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2014—Struts out; new budget to be tabled in late November: PFO
BREAKING NEWS Park Finance Officer Milton Struts has been "relieved of his duties as of November 3, 2014," according to a communiqué distributed to Park media this afternoon. In the communiqué, … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
