Bastiaan Groundhog, the zoocratically-elected 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) has been removed from his burrow and will remain at an "undisclosed location" for an extended period of time, his handlers said today. At a hastily scheduled press event, spokesAnimals for the 2013 POPS confirmed that threats made on the Groundhog's life were the reason for the hasty exit from his burrow. "On seventeen separate occasions, Bastiaan … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—Striped and spotted Animals at risk of psychological illness: new study
A new study out of the University of West Terrier suggests that The Park's striped and spotted Animals are at risk of psychological illness and the consequences thereof. In a paper scheduled for publication in the May issue of the prestigious Journal of Experimental and Reactive Psychology (JERP), researchers say that striped and spotted Animals are at risk of developing a kind of "self-loathing" that, among other things, does not bode well … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Archons lambasted over commissioning “official” Park song
The 2013 Archons are feeling the heat from Park citizens just days after announcing that they commissioned the composition of an "official" Park song. Their intention was to have a song created "that would evoke feelings of pride and loyalty in Park Animals...something stirring that would excite all of us and make us feel appreciative of living in The Park." That was the explanation given by the Archons' press secretary Balthasar Alouatta when … [Read all...]
OTD in 2017—Alvin Tinamou, mate confirm separation
It's official and it's forever: Alvin Tinamou and his mate Adela have separated permanently. In a brief statement released this morning, the publisher of The Avian Messenger and organizer of Park media's annual Month Without Metaphor said it was "with profound sorrow" that he advised that he and his mate Adela have decided to "pursue their lives separately from now on." The pair, who have known each other since they were young, suffered … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2014—Weather Office to Polar Bear Poetry Picnickers: prepare for a soggy bottom
The Park Weather Office has issued a warning to those who plan to attend this year's Polar Bears' Poetry Picnic: prepare for a soggy bottom. "This year's extended Winter season, coupled with record … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2013—Police investigate infiltration of “Friends of Hieronymous”
Something is rotten inside the LAdeH ("Les Amis de Hieronymous"), otherwise known as The Friends of Hieronymous, and Park Police have been working to uncover its identity. At a press conference held … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2013—Park Museum puts out call for personal items, memorabilia
The Park Museum, set to open later this year (barring any unforeseen delays), has put out a call for "personal items of historical interest" that Animals may be in possession of, including items they … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
