BREAKING NEWS Former Mammalian Daily reporter and columnist Anselm Alpaca has died. In a statement released this morning, Alpaca's family confirmed that he died "of natural causes" last night at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm. Alpaca was nineteen years old. At the time of his death, Alpaca was working for The Equine Echo, but he spent the better part of his career as a reporter and columnist for The Mammalian Daily, where he … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—Two rival Park chefs engage in war of words over award-winning artist’s work
It was meant to be a tribute, but something went terribly wrong. When award-winning artist Hugh Danlami Biri decided he wanted to add his voice to the cause of equality for striped and spotted Park Animals, he thought it best to use his considerable artistic talents to do so. Enter his latest masterpiece, or as some are calling it, his "miss-terpiece" entitled, "A Change of Hugh." Biri's tribute—a 76 cm x 51 cm painting in custom … [Read all...]
OTD in 2016—Farmers threaten to boycott Friday’s Agrarian Jubilee over food-finding apps
The Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) says it will boycott Friday's annual Anixi Agrarian Jubilee unless The Park's technology sector comes to the table to discuss its concerns over the proliferation of food-finding apps. In a statement released to media this morning, SCPCPGF president A.P. Civet called on tech companies to listen to what his group has to say about the future of food and its … [Read all...]
OTD in 2008—Marine Mammal Bank posts record gains in first quarter
The Marine Mammal Bank of the Park (MMBP) has reported record first-quarter gains for 2008, thanks to the performance of its personal banking division. The Park’s third largest bank reported an increase in deposits of 150% over the same period last year. The bank now estimates earnings for 2008 at twice those of last year. That figure was revised upward from a previous estimate of 160%. According to Park law, banks that do business solely … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2015—Alvin Tinamou to offer Month Without Metaphor advice daily on radio show
Attention all participants in May's Month Without Metaphor (and all those interested in the practice of journalism): Set your dial to AVN Radio (Radio 286.7) at 4:00 every day from now until June … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Stand-alone education advocates use buttons to kick off new campaign
Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon usually keeps to himself, but this weekend we'll be seeing his image everywhere, if a new pro-education group has its way. The group, which calls itself "Park Citizens … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2017—DWBS “disappointed” that Mating Dance selfie warnings not heeded
For the second year in a row, selfies and other photos of Park Animals that were taken during last Friday's Mating Dance have been posted on the internet. "It appears that our repeated warnings to … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
