In a landmark decision handed down this morning, Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park's Superior Court kept alive the vision of The Park's founder and reaffirmed the right of every Animal to remain stupid. The decision, which will be posted in full outside the Court House tomorrow, came after a deliberation of more than five months. The decision was in response to an action brought by a collective that included the Park Education Working … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2013—ISML confirms discovery of ancient “shedding” song
The Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life has confirmed the discovery of an ancient shedding song. The lyrics of the song were inscribed on a stone tablet that was found near The Park's Wishing Well during a routine dig last Summer. At a press conference held this afternoon on the grounds of the Institute, ISML Chief Archaeologist Catriona Cairn-Terrier characterized the find as "significant" and described the tablet as "basically in good … [Read all...]
OTD in 2007—Park braces for panzootic as Small Ball Fever claims new victim
The recent death of a Squirrel has alerted The Park’s medical community to the necessity of implementing measures to deal with the possible onset of a panzootic, according to a spokesAnimal for The Park’s Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS). Kostas Apollonios Eusebios Squirrel died on 26 March as a result of Small Ball Fever, six days after he had extensive contact with a small ball which he imported to The Park from a local field. An … [Read all...]
OTD in 2014—Park media organizations gear up for first ever “Month Without Metaphor”
With just two weeks to go, The Park's media organizations are gearing up for what some have called the biggest experiment in the history of journalism. "All systems are go," pronounced Alvin Tinamou with pride, at a hastily-organized update at his office yesterday afternoon. The subject was May's "Month Without Metaphor," but the Elephant in the room was the state of the industry, itself. "It's no secret that the modern era has presented us … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2015— Clementina Araña appointed head judge of 2015 Toe-Hair Contest
Artist Clementina Araña will serve as head judge of the 2015 Toe-Hair Contest. At a press event at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Pro-election group finds support in esteemed director Douglas Cheetah
The Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) now has an ally in the person of award-winning film director, Douglas Cheetah. In a statement released this morning by Cheetah himself, he says that … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Raimundo Zorro strikes again: new web site violates conditions of sentence
Raimundo Zorro has struck again. Zorro, who was convicted last August on two counts of inciting hate by owning and operating the controversial web site, “SplotchWatch," appears to have violated the … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood